Become your strength

So right from the beginning, I’m just going to come out and be honest with you guys, I am still learning how to do this but I guess that is the best thing about this blog, the fact we get to share our experiences and learn from each other.

As someone who solely relied on the support of my family and friends for a long time, starting university was different for me because I felt like I lost the sense of permanence that came with constantly having family around. This made me really worried and sometimes upset because I began to doubt how much the people I loved really cared about me, but then I had to realize that people have a lot of shit going on in their lives that makes it hard for them to constantly be in communication with you, and truthfully, that’s fine too. I’ve learnt on this journey that the only person who can constantly be with you is the spirit of God.

“… I will ask the Father to give you another Helper, to be with you always…” John 14:15-16

When I discovered this, I realized I had to ask God to teach me how to to step up and be there for myself sometimes and in no time I started learning how to :

◦ Go to the cinema to see a movie alone and enjoy my own company.

Lesson: Not everyone is free when you are and they might not want to do exactly what you want at that point in time.

◦ Talking myself out of my negative thoughts.

◦ Motivating myself to get out of bed and get things done.

If you’re in my house around 7am in the morning, you may or may not hear me reminding myself that the day is mine and I have to show up and show out.

◦ Developing on whatever little habits and hobbies that give me joy.

Sometimes it’s working on my blog and sharing cool things with you all, other times it’s learning how to do my own nails from YouTube videos.

◦ Getting a grip on my social media consumption and actually stepping back into reality to read a book!!

I don’t know if you have started this journey or this might prompt you to be more self reliant, But I’m assuring you that despite how great your loved ones are it’s important to learn how to be there for yourself.

Thank you so much for reading loves❤️

I’ll be looking forward to hearing little areas that you’re going to show up and take care of yourself by yourself this week.

I’m going to be writing more in relation to this and many more amazing topics so Please don’t forget to subscribe and share ❤️

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SHHHH

Your silence can be powerful.

Ever wondered what to do or even say when your friend is sad and it seems like the problem is impossible to understand or you’re unable to make sense out of their words to come up with a suitable response?

Your attempts to make them laugh a little or distract them from the problems are in vain?

    I experienced that again this week and I finally learnt how to stop talking and just listen.

   Everyone that knows me would tell you that I love to talk, talk about nothing and talk about everything. Once I get comfortable, it’s like my mouth is a gushing fountain of words.

   But here’s the truth , when dealing with friendships or relationship of any sort, we have to learn that sometimes our loved ones don’t require us to speak mindlessly in a bid to comfort them, all they might need is our quiet prescience, to sit in silence, maybe hold their hands, a slight occasional rub or pat on the back might be all they need to feel better again.

    So next time you’re trying to make someone feel better, and nothing seems to work , learn to “SHHHH “ and allow your presence do all the talking.

I hope you’ve all had an awesome week, and if you haven’t , I’m sending my love to you & reminding you that you’ll be alright in due time so keep your head up.

See you soon loves!

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DO IT NOW

I recently started lying to myself, telling myself I work better under pressure just so I’d have an excuse to do things last minute. And right now, as I speak to you, I just recovered from a break down which I caused from my laziness.

   I’m learning that when we push important things to the last minute, we end up stressing ourselves and disturbing our peace and trust me there’s nothing more important than your peace of mind. So If you have something you should be doing, please, go do it now. You can come back and finish reading this later.

  Your time is precious and you shouldn’t always wait till the perfect and most convenient time to start getting things done, because the truth is, that time never comes and it could leave panicked, stressed and confused.

   Let’s make a promise to each other that we’d go out and make our little dreams and goals come through let’s get all the school work and office work and life work out the way now so we can go live our best stress-free life’s

See you soon loves,

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IT’S ALL NEW

There is an excitement and fear that comes with moving to a new place or moving into a new year. Few months ago, I left my home country Nigeria to Cyprus for university. I made so many plans in regards to my social life, blogging, dressing, gym, dating and friends. I was truly excited because I saw university as a fresh new start.
A chance to recreate myself and my public image. I was going to be accomplish it all. The truth is that I did not. I fell back to my same old habits because I thought university would change me into this perfect human but it was really my Job to change myself. I did try to do it all at the same time but truly I became overwhelmed by trying to find a balance, so it resulted in laziness and procrastination.

This time I created a new strategy for getting my things done which is Taking it slow and small, consistency and Peace of mind. I started going back to the gym slowly not overworking myself all at once and trying to reduce my meal portions. I didn’t allow myself get stressed over results (Peace of mind) and this gave me the strength to start writing again.

So, my little tip from me to you is as you try to accomplish all your goals remember to take it small and slow, keep consistency and protect your peace of mind.

I’m so excited to be back and be able to share my experiences with everyone!

Have an amazing weekend! See you soon!

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Is love what we think it is?

silhouette photo of man leaning on heart shaped tree
Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

Why do you look for love outside when there’s really no one that can love you as much as you love yourself?

Why do you say ‘I love you’ when you can’t even love yourself?

Love is very complicated, when my parents told me, I took it as a cliché old-school parent advise, but in the end turns out they were so damn right.

You love at a young age and then when you grow up you realise that’s not love, some get heartbroken so early in their life that they become so terrified to face the world.

If I had a bottle that contained love, I would put a tag on it that says ‘harmful substance keep out of reach of children’. Everyone falls in love, you don’t have to really do anything to fall in love. But not everyone stays in love because they don’t know how or they simply can’t stay in love because it can be very exhausting, you have to continue to fall in love to be able to stay in love.

The way to really love anyone is to understand that your problems are not the biggest, be selfless, think about the stranger next to you because like you, he has a story to tell, problems to solve. Don’t be too quick to love and don’t be too quick to hate also….it’s a balance. Don’t love someone because you feel good around them, that’s feign love. Love because you can feel what they feel…in that way you would understand the reasons why they do what they do.

~favour

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Sadness is just a mindset.

adult art conceptual dark
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The question then arises that if sadness isn’t a substance, then why can it be shared?

Sadness is a mindset, very much like happiness and anger it’s a choice. For this reason it can be shared. We humans can influence each other’s thoughts, causing us to change our mindsets. I’m talking about sadness specifically because it was one of my greatest challeng thankfully it isn’t the greatest any longer. If you are reading this because you have constant battles with sadness and emotional depression, overcoming it is quite easy. Like a popular law in physics states: To every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. Black-white, good-bad, rich-poor, front-back, up-down….

There is a pattern in life, so to be great in this double faced life, you must see things with an ambivalent mind. We have two eyes for a reason, approaching life like a cyclops (with one eye) would make life seem meaningless to you. When you’re down, because you can’t see the pattern in life you would think that you can never be up because you simply can’t imagine there is an opposite of down somewhere called up. Then you begin to think you’ll be down permanently and as you think in your heart, so are you. Looking at life from this ambivalent perspective helps you to know and believe that your now is not your forever, when you’re down you would have hope and work towards getting up(optimism).

~favour